Fuck, I think I'm coming full circle again

"Double Ketchup" 2006-Ralph Goings

I've been on this kick that I'm not going to care or at least invest a lot of emotion into school and more broadly my everyday choices. At first this was enlightening, and this feeling has lasted for about a year. Amist this year I have been very relaxed and open to new experiences and lessons, but starting about a month ago I have experienced some serious concern as to where my life is taking me, or rather where I am taking me.

Then today, I got my Statistics grade and inside me there was resounding SNAP! that I could not ignore. Now if you are my sister or family member that is starting to feel dissappointed, don't, the grade is a B+ and it's only the beginning of the semester. However the cause of the less than desired grade was the day I woke up at 8:00am, the time my class begins, and said to myself "Looks like life doesn't want you to go to class, and you can live with that." This is the kind of thinking I have been practicing the past year, but that snap was the break in a dam built on the river of my character. Rushing waters that screamed "It was that one class that dropped my grade from a solid A to a B+!!! ARGH!!!!" flooded into my being and crashed onto my heart sinking it down into the once still, calm lake that is my gut.

It is only appropriate that yesterday my wonderful dialogue professor, Reinhold Dooley, was responding to a statement I made about wanting to have all the answers but somehow knowing that I can't. He explained that when he was my age every year of his life he would think we was a really smart guy and come the next year we would look back and say to himself "Man, what an ass I've been." Internally during his story I was responding with "Meee tooo!"

It all goes to show that when you think you have it all together, think again. However, I do wish to take the moments that I've felt I learned something great and work against my human nature to remember them. I suppose I just keep getting dunked back into the present, into the moment I ought to be living in, into the place where I can understand what it means to live, and for that I am eternally greatful.

It is late, but I still have time

I wake up in my single person apartment and this morning I found myself asking "Is this going to be an exceptional day?" I WANT it to be. For some reason I feel like I really need this day to be exceptional.

Now it is the end of the day, the less that exceptional day. I want my homework to be done. I want my hunger to be satisfied. I want my debt to go away. I want to know what exactly is the minimum amount of work I need to do to get an A in all my classes. I want my shoulders to be rubbed.

But it is amidst all of this wanting I remember a still, calm moment while riding in my car to work, when God reminded me that the key to contentment is to give up all of my wants.

Shit Goes On Forever, So Make a Conscious Try

Two items to admit with this entry: 1) The title is from a G Love and Special Sauce song called "Yeah, it's that easy" and it doesn't neccessarily have any connection to the content I've included, but it makes a point that I resonate with. 2) I stole the following viral game from Sasha, who stole it from someone else, so really the key component to the game is stealing...What? Shit goes on forever.

The Google search results for "Sarah needs..."

• Sarah needs a cold shower


• Sarah needs a date, maybe some fun, and if it works out a bit of schtupping*


• Sarah needs your manly support


• Sarah needs Self-Esteem


• Sarah needs a Wii


• Sarah needs to get her life back and establish herself as the person in charge


• Sarah needs us


• Sarah needs to kick him in the nuts


• Sarah needs more love lyrics


• Sarah needs to get back to college

*schtupping:
Having sex.
"Shelley didn't know that her husband was schtupping the next-door neighbour. "

Thank you urbandictionary.com!

My first contribution

Greetings friends,

Since I find myself such a big fan of reading the blogs of friends and others, like those who can teach me how to cook or show me how to make that thing Martha Stuart had on the cover of her last magazine, I decided it is my turn to make a contribution. Now this is not to say that my contribution to the world of blogging will be anything exceptional compaired to the blogs of others, but hell who cares...I should really just say "I can have a blog, so I will have a blog." That is basically the summation of my logic. However, in addition to that simple minded statement I am excited to see what other's have to write about, since it was the enjoyment I took in reading the blogs of friends that encouraged me to create my own.

Today I will share a funny encounter my sister eagerly called to tell me about. She was walking with a friend when a member of Green Peace stopped them with the line "Do you have a minute for the enviroment?" to which her friend replied, "Do you have a cigarrette? Because if you have a cigarrette I have a minute." "Uhh, no," answered Green Peace slightly rattled by the abrupt reply he was not prepared for. "Well then I have to go spend my minute finding someone who I can bum a cigarrette from." Ironic, isn't it?

Life can be it's own entertainment, depending of course on how amusable you are.